GOD'S plan vs. MY plan

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!! so this is my first blog of many!!! I believe this is one of the things i'm going to use to keep everyone updated on my YWAM adventure in July! i know it's a long ways away, but i thought i'd tell you about what's going on now cuz i could definately use your continued prayer and support! :)

Well I officially have my entire application in for the DTS in Newcastle, Australia called YouthStreet and am now awaiting the "official" acceptance!

It's been quite an adventure getting to this point though. For those of you who haven't heard about it i will quickly sum it up for you...actually it is really long...:)

I had been searching for a Discipleship Training School (DTS) to attend for over a year now. I found two that i was interested in. One was in Derby, England, and the other was in Newcastle, Australia. I was planning on leaving in February after my sister got married on jan. 19th. I was bound and determined to have a decision by the end of the summer. I was leaning towards the Newcastle, Australia one when i went on a Missions trip to the inner city at the end of July. I was talking to one of the other leaders about my plans and she told me that she knew the guy heading up the Newcastle DTS! so i got his number and called and asked him a bunch of questions. i was sooo excited! i was pretty positive that this was the DTS i wanted to attend! so i kept emailing the two DTS's with various questions i had, and finally came to the decision to actually apply for the Newcastle DTS.

I was almost done with my application. I had emailed the Newcastle DTS one final question, and then i recieved a reply asking me if i was contacting the right DTS. I was thinking, well of course i am...but then i stopped and contemplated the differences that i didn't seem to recognize before. The DTS's webpage that i was emailng didn't really seem like the same kind of DTS that i had talked to the guy on the phone...the lady who had asked me if i was contacting the right DTS told me about how there was two DTS's in Newcastle, Australia-one was called Tribe to Tribe (the one i was emailing) and the other was called YouthStreet (the one i contacted by phone). I was in absolute shock at my mistake! I didn't really know what to do but ask for prayer, so i emailed a lot of people just asking for prayer and wisdom. The first couple days after i learned of my misunderstanding of the DTS's, i was kinda mopey and upset. I had a hard time praying for everything even though i had asked a bunch of people to pray for me, and i knew i needed to pray. I didn't really dive into the word either, which i also knew was something i needed to do. I was thinking more along the lines of-oh, there's so much to do, now i have to start my research all over again. I don't like this situation i'm in. This is very inconvienient.- I was basically pittying myself, but then i got some random advice from a friend who told me not to let God fall to the background cus now is when i need him more than ever.-she didn't know i was being like this.

So i got my act together after the first couple of days. I knew that there was nothing i could do besides trust in the Lord because even though i was confused and i didn't know what the future held, God WASN'T confused. I kept telling people "i know God has it all in His hands, but i wish he'd put the answer into mine soon!" it was kind of my way of reasurring myself that everything was under control, but also expressing my concern of not knowing either. anyways....i was working on the research of some of the DTS's to make sure i knew when exactly they were, and what exactly they were about. I still was really interested in the YouthStreet DTS, but it started Jan. 15th and my sister's wedding was four days later, so my choices were to postpone it until April or July. I figured if i postponed it, i might as well postpone it til July. I was making a two lists-"Why to postpone DTS till July" (for the YouthStreet one) and "Why not postpone until July." I had literally just finished and my phone rang! I answered it, and it was Tanden (former youth minister)! He was calling me about the email i sent him cuz he didn't get a chance to finish reading it. It was such perfect timing cus i just got done going through everything and all these concerns and info. were presently on my mind right then. I change my mind, it wasn't "perfect" timing, it was "GOD" timing! :) So we got to talking and i swear it was God talking to me through him! He explained how he thinks God sometimes just wants us to make our own choices in life, in the sense that He wants us to follow His commands to love, honor, and obey. But if we are doing that (love, honor, obey, etc.) in the choices that we make, He wants us to make choices of things that we WANT to do. We can choose what WE want! God is overjoyed when we do! I know it sounds as though this is a foreign concept to me, but it kinda was. I've always felt that if i make decisions (especially this big of one) based on my wants that i'm doing something selfish, and it must not be Godly or what God wants. But that's not necessariy true! Tanden gave me an example of how he is overjoyed when his children are able to make their own decisions and choose certain things, and to do certain things, but if one of them chooses to hurt the other one, then as a father, he must get involved. So that means God wants me to live my life, and make my choices, as long as they fall into his great commands-to love one another (etc.). Through the Bible God has taught me how to live my life and honor Him at the same time-they aren't just "laws," they are teachings. I'm beginning to realize that more and more.

Well, anyways, i was so in awe of God after my conversation with Tanden, i had to sit down. I could actually choose what i wanted?! no way. I've always been concerned if i'm doing EXACTLY what God wants! that's a stressful thing! But i was talking with my mom the other night and she told me, "Elizabeth, God doesn't expect you to read minds!" (meaning His mind.) I talked to her about self-righteousness too. I've always put a lot of stress on myself thinking, "well if i don't do this, then it won't get done, or i'm failing, or someone wont get reached." because obviously if i'm meant to be there and i don't go, or i miss the sign/answer God is giving me, well then everything just went down the tubes!...WRONG! that could be considered self-righteousness-saying that if i don't do this than nobody will. God has a Will, if he calls me and i don't accept, well then my loss, cuz God's gonna do what God's gonna do, he'll find somebody else to replace me. So in that sense, i'm not irreplaceable. I've just learned SO MUCH from this experience! And God has proven to be SO FAITHFUL!!! and i'm so GRATEFUL!!!! (lol i'm a poet and i didn't even know it!)

This has been an amazing time in my walk with God! i've been learning to Trust God more and more! I thought before when i was planning on leaving in Feb. that everything was coming together so well, but that was MY plan, and now in GOD's plan everything is working out so much more better than i could have possibly imagined, and coming together in ways i never expected!!! PRAISE GOD!!

Here are some of the benefits of following God's plan:
-I have more time to earn the money i needed. if i had left in Feb. i don't know if i would have earned enough to go.
-I'm here for graduation and other spring activities i would have missed (i'm pretty close to the class of 2008)
-One of my best friends just got back in Dec. from a 3 1/2 month study abroad program, and now i have about six EXTRA months to be with her before I leave for FIVE months!!! God was SO looking out for this relationship!
-I have more time to get a visa.
-I was going to try to apply for a bunch of scholarships for college this spring, and that would have been an overload if i were at the DTS too!
-I'm going to be another year older, and since i'll be working with 12-17yr olds, that's a plus :)
-In general it will give me more time to prepare!
-Beleive me there is a TON more benefits of being a part of GOD'S plan!!!!

so if you could pray for me to be able to listen and hear where God is leading me next in this whole process of things, and just in general in LIFE!

Thanks! Love you all! and have a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!! and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!